


Monet

by yeaka



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Gen, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:13:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21699052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: Spock and Bones draw a coffee cup.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	Monet

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Star Trek or any of its contents, and I’m not making any money off this.

Leonard’s coffee cup looks _nothing_ like a coffee cup. The sides of the mug are curved, but the top and bottom are straight lines, and Spock doesn’t understand the swirls Leonard’s drawing above them. He pauses midway through the fifth one, dropping the chalk as he sits back on his knees, and Spock takes the chance to intervene. He collects the chalk to prevent its further misuse and uses the side of his hand to clean the blackboard. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Leonard instantly interjects, elbowing Spock in the side, which Spock is fairly certain constitutes workplace harassment. “I _just_ finished!”

“You are an incompetent artist,” Spock concludes. He leaves the lines Leonard drew for the sides of the mug, but he draws the bottom himself, using a flat oval that gives the appearance of depth. Though it should be abundantly obvious, Spock reminds Leonard, “We do not serve two-dimensional coffee.”

“It’s a damn _drawing_ , Spock,” Leonard growls, as though Spock is the one being obtuse. “It doesn’t have to be accurate!”

“It is meant to entice more customers. In order to do so, we must reflect the products which we actually sell—”

“It’s an artisanal sign, not a photograph!”

“It is a poorly drawn sign.”

“That’s because I’m a doctor, not an artist!”

“Evidently.”

“Why, you...” Leonard cuts off, but Spock can hear all the familiar insults in his head. They don’t bother him in the slightest. He’s been working alongside Leonard McCoy going on three years now, and he’s more than used to Leonard’s irrational human behaviour. It’s what Spock gets for remaining on Earth. The coffee shops on his native Vulcan are far more logical. 

Having completed the cup of coffee, Spock smudges out the swirls above it. Leonard splutters, “What are you doing?”

“The manager did not ask for abstract interpretations. I see no reason for these nonsensical designs.”

“They’re _steam_ , Spock, it means the coffee’s hot!”

“It is a drawing, Mr. McCoy. It is neither hot nor cold.”

“I’m gonna kill you.”

From anyone else, that might be alarming. From Leonard, it’s standard practice. Fortunately, Spock is well aware that Leonard is enrolled in Starfleet Academy’s medical program, and Leonard has long since sworn an oath to do no harm. 

Spock begins meticulously writing out their latte options above the cup, only for Leonard to snatch the chalk back and redraw his swirls. Spock frowns at him.

“The manager said—”

Before Spock can finish his sentence, the door to the lunchroom opens. Both he and Leonard look up as said manager strolls in, coming to stand over them and peer down at their work. He tilts his head, looking it over, his grin more fond than approving. Spock has become excellent at reading Jim’s Kirk expressions. 

“The hobgoblin’s ruined it,” Leonard mutters. Jim lifts a brow.

Spock insists, “Mr. McCoy is the one being unreasonable. He is attempting to create chaos—”

“I’m trying to make it look _good_!”

“At the expense of reality.”

“Your reality’s not going to make people buy anything!”

“Purchases in reality are the only kind our tills can process.”

Jim chuckles lightly while Leonard glares. Then Leonard opens his mouth, no doubt to deliver another scathing comment, but before he can, Jim informs them, “I agree with both of you.” Leonard’s brows furrow, and Spock looks up expectantly. Jim finishes, “You both suck. Get back out front, gentleman. I think I’ll have Chekov finish this off.”

“But, Sir—”

“Jim—”

“ _Out front._ ”

Leonard has the gal to scowl at Spock as though it’s _his_ fault. If Spock had had adequate time without Leonard’s distraction, he could’ve surely done an excellent job. But unfortunately, Jim is the boss, and generally speaking, he knows what he’s doing.

The two of them slink back out to the counter, while a kid barely old enough to work there flutters back and decimates their masterpiece.


End file.
